Top 3 Concerns

Contributed the following article to the JAN '14 issue of VANAMUTHAM,

a Tamil Christian Monthly magazine published by Serve India Mission,

that attempts to connect the world (with its events and practical issues) to God's word.

My Friend,

   I wanted to share my views on three issues that I believe will be weighing heavily on the mind of any individual.  It is for you to accept my view or reject it, but I cannot withhold it from you for fear of either being rejected or mocked.  It has helped me handle three of the biggest problems in my life, and it is out of friendship and love that I want to share it with you.

   All of us have done things that we are not proud of -- Things that we did out of some compulsion that we felt in our body and mind; Things that we did hoping it would bring us happiness.  We might have lied to someone who trusted us, cheated our elders, grabbed what is rightfully someone else’s, hurt those who suddenly turned enemies, disobeyed our parents, disrespected our teachers, and humiliated someone who was not as wealthy or handsome (beautiful) or knowledgeable as we are.  All of us may not have done all of these things, but I am sure there is none who has not done any of these things. 

   Memories of some of these things haunt us.  Depending on the values we hold today, we try our best to erase memories of these or justify them.  Some of us justify these by looking at people around us and concluding that none is exempt from these and therefore to be human is to be imperfect.  Others among us justify these by attributing our past actions to impulses in the body which are determined by our Chromosomes, something that we are not responsible for.  To be sure, I have had a good share of these from all the years of my existence.

   Next, all of us want to rise above ourselves. We all want to be good people who will not lie, cheat, grab, hurt or disrespect.  We want to be good, kind and do good to others. But our dormant nature rears its ugly head, just when we think we have moved on.  When we stand in any queue, be it at the Post Office, at the Ticket Counter or at a Wedding Reception, the urge to edge out some and gain a few slots up just would not die down. When we are in a crowd, be it at a social party or a team meeting, the urge to stand up and be counted, even at the cost of putting down someone else, just would not go away. When we are moved in our hearts and would want to extend a helping hand, the thought of what it will cost us in time, money and effort just does not help our actions to match with our intentions.

   We are all struggling with these contradictions within us.  We want to do something beautiful but end up doing something else.  But we tell ourselves that we will improve.  We read self-help books and attend camps.

   We are told that we are intrinsically good; that it is what we have acquired over the years through our up-bringing and environment that is causing our actions to be incongruent with our true self; and that they can be shed by inward gazing to see our self in isolation from our actions.  But we have not become any better.

   Others have asked us to wake up the lion inside us.  But we feel ever smaller as we realize again and again that we just don’t measure up to our own expectations.

   Finally, given our past and our present struggles, we wonder what life is all about.  Is there any meaning in life?  Is it not all about finding happiness?  If happiness is what is paramount, does it really matter if we are kind or cruel?  Does it make any difference whether we are proud or humble?  Despite all our blemishes, if we can still be happy, is that not what we should pursue rather than be bogged by this discussion about good and evil?

   We are told that there is no over-arching meaning in life; that we are to give small meanings to our day-to-day activities and events that we come across; that if we can have small things line up our lives that bring us a smile, or a laughter or happiness, we can provide meaning to our life.

   Accordingly, we have crowded our lives with parties, celebrations, ceremonies and travels.  We have arranged trainings, competitions and performances for our children.  But the emptiness refuses to go away.

   If you have read thus far, it is likely you agree with me that you share the Top 3 concerns for life:

1. We all have done things we are not proud of.  2. We want to rise above ourselves.   3. We want to find what will bring meaning and purpose to life.  I will now want to share how I have got these concerns addressed in my life.

   When I have done things that I am not proud of, obviously they are things that are not right.  I find a moral law written in my conscience that is telling me what is right and what is wrong.  If I know they are not right, I deserve punishment.  My own conscience will judge me as a culprit, as someone who has trespassed.  If my own conscience judges me, God the maker of you and me, is greater than my conscience and He being just is sure to judge me.  I therefore deserve and await God’s judgment.  It is this burden of knowing I deserve punishment that is called GUILT.

   I cannot wish my Guilt away.  The fact that others are equally guilty or worse does not help me.  I still deserve God’s punishment, like all others.  Thankfully God understands and He has provided me a way.  He loved me so much that He came down to pay the penalty so I can be free.  I have chosen to trust Him and enjoy freedom. The alternative will be to refuse to acknowledge His kind act for me, and continue to grovel in guilt.

   When I have found that no self-help helps, obviously I need help from outside.   I find that no matter how hard I will, I just don’t have it in me to carry it out.  It is true that when I sow an action, I reap a habit, when I sow a habit, I reap a character and when I sow a character, I reap a destiny.  But the trouble is with the start.  If I am brutally honest with myself, sowing a thought is not necessarily helping me reap an action.  Despite the amount of good books I have read, the discourses I have listened to and the trainings I have attended, being good is something alien.  I am just too selfish.

   Here again, if I am not too proud to recognize my limitation, help from outside is available.  God Himself comes to live inside me.  He gives me a sensitive heart that easily recognizes His prompting. When I obey His prompting, He enables me to carry it out.  The power of Him that created the universe and all that we see around us with His word is available for me to resist the tug from my weak self. God living inside me transforms me by renewing my mind, and enables me to act as He would.

   Now that I have accepted God’s forgiveness and have Him living with me, fellowship with Him has become a reality.  I am no longer alone.  The all-knowing God is living in me.  He knows best and that is true with knowing what brings me happiness and fulfillment too.

   He made me for Himself.  He did not make me for myself, nor did I create myself.  I am therefore incapable of defining purpose.  My creator alone knows what He made me for.

   He does not give me a blue-print about my future.  He does not tell me what I will become in the next 5 or 10 years, and how I will get there.  He tells me what I should do every moment and in every situation.  He has laid out principles in His written word for me, by which I should direct my steps.  When it is His pleasure that becomes paramount to me, I can be sure that my life will be lived out beautifully and meaningfully.  Any time I turn back and look at how my years have been spent, I will see how wonderfully He has accomplished His purposes through me.

   Would you like to have Him, know His purpose, and enjoy His Enabling presence and power to make your life meaningful?

Social Network or Social Minefield?

Contributed the following article to the APRIL-MAY 'Combined' issue of VANAMUTHAM,

a Tamil Christian Monthly magazine published by Serve India Mission,

that attempts to connect the world (with its events and practical issues) to God's word.

Very early in my childhood, I learned that man is a ‘social animal’. I remember a teacher driving this indelibly into our minds in the morning assembly one day, “No man is an island”. I did not understand its full import then. Over time however, I have come to understand that we need one another and that communication is key to both express and fulfill this need.

 

Man has always had the urge to connect with dear ones. Before telephones became common place towards the close of the 20th century, all long-distance communication was through postal mail with a minimum turn-around of 6 working days. However, convergence of Information Technology and Telecommunication Systems over the last decade, have made it easier now for people using different forms of communication to interconnect. It was first the explosion of email and pagers. Slowly online chat replaced emails and increased comfort with SMS and the proliferation of mobile handsets and cheaper service plans made pagers altogether obsolete. Bottom line is that communication has become faster and cheaper.

 

It is true that modern communication technologies have reduced the wait time for responses. They have also helped loved ones stay in touch with each other anytime, anywhere and removed lot of anxiety about each other’s safety and well-being from their hearts. However it has also led to unnecessary communication that just fills time. Even without a need to communicate, people indulge in empty chatter to just kill time and avoid boredom. Time that could otherwise have been used in more profitable activities and boredom that could have been overcome in meaningful ways are now being handled through casual communication with acquaintances and even strangers. Modern technology has left more time at people’s disposal and Social Networking has attracted a great number of such folks.

 

Social Networking provides the power to easily locate, connect with and communicate ideas to like-minded people. A positive outcome has been collaborative learning. Students in some institutions submit assignments on a Social Networking platform. In some other, students are asked to post summaries of the classes they attended, so those who missed classes can update themselves by reading them. Alumni groups on Social Networking sites have helped students decide on Colleges, Careers, etc., based on inputs from students who had passed out earlier. Students have even got Question papers from previous years uploaded so that they are useful for future students when preparing for various examinations.

 

Social Minefield:

 

However it needs to be stated that it is a minefield that can destroy lives. A Research team in the U.S. had found students’ concentration to lapse within just 15 minutes of study, because of the urge to check their Facebook page almost every third minute. Spending too much time on Social Networking sites can lead one to “narcissistic tendencies” – excessive self-love and fascination with oneself. Analysts following cultural trends had said of Television half-a-century ago, that it was transforming our culture into one vast arena for show business. This is even truer of Social Network with its potential to accommodate millions on stage compared to the hundreds or thousands that are accommodated on Television screens. It produces a vain behavior where one is trying to show off all the time. It has the potential to make users more prone to aggressive and anti-social behavior too. It can also cause in users bouts of anxiety, depression and sleeping problems.

 

Neil Postman had said in his 1985 book ‘Amusing ourselves to death’, “When I hear people talk about the information super highway, that it will become possible to shop at home, and bank at home, and get your texts at home, and get your entertainment at home, I often wonder if this doesn't signify the end of any community life.” This indeed has come true. It is removing all elements of community living and driving individuals into a closet, and this is happening from very young age. Youth are wasting time not using it to go out and play or interact with others.

 

Worse still, man's almost infinite appetite for distractions is hurtling him to his downfall today. Today’s world is controlling him by inflicting pleasure. If they are not wary, they could be drawn to inappropriate content on the internet and become slaves for live. Neil Postman had recalled how correctly Huxley had foreseen what was coming. Huxley had more than 50 years ago dismissed fears that people in power would ban books, deprive people of information, conceal truth and make the masses captive. He rather feared that there would be no reason to ban a book, for there would be no one who wanted to read one; that people in power would give us so much that we would be reduced to passivity and egoism; that truth would be drowned in a sea of irrelevance; and that the masses would become a trivial culture, preoccupied with some form of illicit pleasure. In short, he feared that what we love will ruin us. When one looks at the preoccupation of today’s world with Social Networking and how it is being used, Huxley’s words have chillingly become true.

 

In Closing:

 

“When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony. Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive”, says Proverbs 23:1-3. A popular Indian saying likewise advises us to emulate the proverbial goose that separates the milk from water before consuming. It would be wise to exercise such discretion and be extremely careful about what we consume on Social Networking sites. Let us follow the example of Daniel who resolved not to defile himself with wine from the King’s table and stay healthy with the vegetables from his kitchen.

Social Networking: Youth's boon or bane

Contributed the following article to a Magazine's January 2012 issue . . .

thinking aloud what should be one's New Year resolution with regard to Social Networking,

particularly for someone in their budding years - in school or in college.

 

 

Man has always had the need to connect with dear ones.  Until less than a quarter of a century ago, people had to wait for atleast a week, for receiving a response from a loved one after writing to him or her, when one of them did not have a phone.  However in the last 15 years, communication has made rapid strides in the form of email and then mobile phone.   More recently, increased comfort with online chat and SMS have made communication using the newer forms cheaper too.  To add to that, convergence of Information Technology and Telecommunication Systems have also made it easier for people using different forms of communication to interconnect.

While reducing the wait time for responses and removing the anxiety when a loved one’s safety had to be confirmed, it has also given rise to a lot of superfluous communication.  Even without a great need to communicate, people have resorted to empty chatter to kill time and avoid boredom. Thus time that could otherwise have been used in more profitable activities and boredom that could have been overcome in meaningful ways are now being handled through casual communication with acquaintances and even strangers.  Social Networking has attracted a great number of folks who have the time and feel bored.

Before we see what good or evil has come out of Social Networking, let us first see in what form it exists today.  Blogs, Microblogs like Twitter and Social Sites like Facebook, MySpace and Orkut, all fill the Social networking landscape.  Blogs let people communicate their ideas with others over internet in the form of short essays or through pictures and video shots.  Microblogs are for those who want to communicate ideas but are either not comfortable penning essays or do not have the time to do so.   A microblog is a statement you make in a few sentences not exceeding 140 characters.  Sites like facebook do not restrict you and let you communicate through short status updates (similar to microblog), or links to essays or photographs on some site.

In the eighties, TV was the favourite pastime; in the late nineties, it was web-surfing and now in the twenty-first century, it is Social Networking.  Myspace that was launched in August 2003 has 30 million users.  Orkut that was launched in January 2004 by Google, currently has over 66 million active users worldwide.  The most successful of these is Facebook that has more than 800 million active users. It had opened to general public only in September 2006 after having been launched 2 years earlier for the student community in Boston, US.  Twitter has 300 million users today, having been launched in July 2006.

Social Networking indeed allows one to easily locate, connect with and communicate ideas to like-minded people.  Certainly, this has made collaborative learning a greater possibility.  For example, students in some institutions submit assignments on a Social Networking platform.  In some other, students are asked to post summaries of the classes they attended, so those who missed classes can update themselves by reading them.  Alumni groups on Social Networking sites have helped students decide on Colleges, Careers, etc., based on inputs from students who had passed out earlier.  Students have even got Question papers from previous years uploaded so that they are useful for future students when preparing for various examinations.  But the question is what proportion of time is spent on such useful stuff and how many young people restrict themselves to productive activities.

Psychology professor Larry Rosen of the California State University, in a speech titled “Poke Me: How Social Networks Can Both Help and Harm Our Kids” has warned of several negative outcome.  Her Research team had found the students’ concentration to lapse within just 15 minutes of study, because of the need to check their Facebook page almost every third minute.  Such students are also likely to have behavioural problems and “narcissistic tendencies” from spending too much time logged on to such sites.  The negative effects include making students more prone to vain, aggressive and anti-social behaviour.   According to their study, children under 13 who overuse social sites on a daily basis are also more likely to be prone to bouts of anxiety, depression, sleeping problems and stomach aches.

 “If you find honey, eat just enough --too much of it and you will vomit”, says Proverbs  25:15  We also have a Tamil saying that reads ‘In excess, even honey becomes poisonous’.   Even so, irrespective of all the good that can come out of Social Networking, it becomes a bane when it is used in addictive proportion.  On this New Year’s eve, let us resolve to live by guidelines about when we would get on to Social Networking sites and how long we would stay online.  Let us be wary about Social Networking being a good servant but a bad master.